Top 14 Reasons Why Men Have Dogs And Not Wives
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My mother is always wondering when I’m going to get married. I’ve sometime thought this myself and I really have no explanation for why I’m not married…maybe I just haven’t met the right one. Then a revelation hit me (or rather an email in my inbox).
Lets first talk about my dogs…I have 3…Linus, Stetson, and Derby. Linus is an Australian Shepherd mix rescued from the Carson Shelter. Stetson is pure bred black Labrador Retriever and a career changed guide dog. Derby is a yellow Labrador Retriever guide dog puppy in training.
The Boys
Why so many dogs, but no wife?
Well I just received an email that explained the situation to me:
Top 14 Reasons Why Men Have Dogs And Not Wives
- The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
- Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
- Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
- A dog’s parents never visit.
- Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
- You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
- Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
- Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
- A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
- If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
- A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
- If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
- Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
- If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
I never really thought about it this way, but all very good points. So maybe I’m not holding out, maybe there is a reason why I have 3 dogs and no wife, maybe…
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You thought the election was over. Well, I’m campaigning and I hope to get your support.
President Elect Obama has promised Malia and Sasha that he will get them a puppy when they get into The White House.
Cartoon Matilda wants to go from the dog house to The White House. Yes, you heard right! Cartoon Matilda is officially running for 1st Dog.
What does Cartoon Matilda stand for? Well, she stands on all fours!
You should endorse Cartoon Matilda for the following reasons:
1. She’s a Labradoodle which was first bred in Australia in 1989, so she will help with international relations.
2. Labradoodle’s were bred to be service dogs. Cartoon Matilda will always be at the Obama’s and America’s service.
3. Cartoon Matilda is hypo-allergetic, so Malai’s allergies won’t be affected by her.
4. She’s been fixed, so technically she’s neither a male nor female, thus she’s able to appeal to the Gay voter.
5. Cartoon Matilda is cute and adorable with these features: A) She doesn’t need to do her business outside. All Whitehouse business should be classified and done indoors with discretion. B) No vet bills that would cost taxpayers money that cannot be afforded in this economic climate. C) She’s a green dog (not LITTERally) who has been created without ink, paper, and she’s powered by wind. D) There’s virtually no better dog to be elected 1st dog than Cartoon Matilda. E)She won’t CHANGE so she will definately be there for the Obama children as they grow through this term and the next term.
6. Cartoon Matilda can handle any adversary because she’s a bitch!
We want your support. You can see Cartoon Matilda’s campaign advertisement at toonecards.com . We encourage you to send the campaign ad out to all of your family and friends.
Let everyone know, including President Elect Obama that Cartoon Matilda is the right 1st Dog for America!
Cartoon Matilda…her Barack is as good as her bite!
I’m Cartoon Matilda and I approve of this message.
@James, I’m glad you like it…we’ll see with my mother says.
@Colleen, just change the title to: “Top 14 Reasons Why Women Have Dogs And Not Husbands” then send it to your mother.
Does this work for a woman as well? My mom’s getting on my case about getting hitched as well!
Very funny!!! I got a good chuckle. Especially since I have similar list for why women have dogs and not husbands! 🙂
Thanks Colby I love it and sending it to my mother 😉