For years I heard the same question over and over again: Why is my 6 month old puppy peeing in the house again?

A similar question my friends kept asking was: “my puppy is potty trained, but he’s still having accidents in the house!?”

For many years I thought the most obvious answer was simple: You may have thought your puppy was potty trained, but in reality he still is NOT potty trained.

• Take a step back with your potty training your puppy.
• Don’t give your puppy as much freedom around the house.
• And make sure you take him out any time he wakes up, after every meal, and every 10 minutes when he’s playing.

I thought that was the answer until we brought home our most recent puppy, Elsa…

Why Is My Puppy Having Accidents Again?

I’ve raised dozens of puppies over the years and I followed the same potty training routine with every puppy. Most of my puppies were potty trained around 4 months old. After they hit that magic 4 months of age I had very few if any accidents besides the one offs:

• When Linus was sick he had a few accidents in the house.
• Unlike Linus, Stetson could not hold his pee much more than 6 hours. If he ever got left home alone for an extended period of time he’d have an accident.
• When Stetson was on prednisone he drank a lot of water. During this period it was very difficult to predict when he had to potty. He had several accidents after being home alone for less than an hour!
• Adelle had a urinary tract infection and was having accidents in the house.
• Her first couple years Kona used to drip around the house. She was also known to get excited and urinate.

These are just a handful of stories about our pups having accidents in the house after they were potty trained. However, after over 16 years of raising puppies Elsa surprised me by doing something different then any other puppy. Not in a good way…

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6 Month Old Puppy Potty Training Regression

Just like every other puppy we raised I considered Elsa potty trained at around 4 months old. I can’t remember a single accident in the house for a solid 2 months.

Then right around my birthday it happened. She jumped up on our bed, squatted, and pee’d!

What the heck!? No accidents for 2 months then she pee’s on our bed!

I couldn’t believe it. I had never had a puppy pee on our bed before. Elsa wasn’t even allowed on our bed.

For the next few days I did like I mentioned earlier. I took a step back, limited her freedom around the house and made sure she didn’t have another accident in the house. I also had her checked for a urinary tract infection.

A few days later she went into heat so I chalked it up as hormone related.

8 Month Old Puppy Potty Training Regression

Elsa’s random accident was a long lost memory until she was 8 months old.

This time she ran over to her comfy cozy doggy bed, squatted, and pee’d!

What the !”@:#!!! bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep!

2 months no accidents, then another random accident!!!

This time it couldn’t be blamed on hormones. Elsa was potty trained (as far as I knew), why did she have an accident.

We took a step back, limited her freedom, and made sure she had no accidents for a week. Everything was back to normal or so I thought.

9 Month Old Puppy Potty Training Regression

At this point I was much less confident that Elsa truly knew she was not to go potty in the house. However, a little over a month passed and I began to lower my guard until…

ANOTHER ACCIDENT!!!

This time she jumped on our brand new bean bag, squatted, and pee’d!!!

Now what was it that George W. Bush said:

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, ‘Fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.'”

Bushisms – Wikipedia

Well there must be an proverb for fool me 3 times because I’m an idiot or maybe I’ll have to coin a new term.

Anyhow after Elsa fooled me for a third time I sat down and thought deeply about why she was having accidents in the house after she was supposedly “potty trained”.

SPOILER ALERT: If you want to skip directly to why Elsa was peeing in the house after already being potty trained jump to potty training point #8 below.

Why Has My Puppy Started Peeing In The House Again?

Let’s start from the top with reasons why your puppy might be having accidents in the house again:

1. Your Puppy Is Not Potty Trained

A lot of people try to advance their puppies through potty training too quickly and start giving them too much freedom around the house. This results in your puppy kind of understanding potty training, but not totally.

The result is they still have accidents in the house, but maybe not as frequently as they did when you first started working on their potty training.

2. Your Puppy Is Young And Doesn’t Have Control Of His Bladder

Bladder control is usually not a problem for a 6 month old puppy. However, I get a lot of people telling me their 8 week old puppy, 10 week, 12 week, and 14+ week old puppy is still having accidents in the house.

Some exceptional puppies may be potty trained as early as 10 weeks old. However, most will not have full control of their bladder. Sometimes a young puppy won’t know he has to potty until it’s too late.

3. Your Puppy Is Sick

We had several times when Linus was sick and had diarrhea accidents in the house. If your puppy is sick he may not be able to control his bowels (or pee as in point #4).

If your puppy is sick then visit your vet for a proper diagnosis and treatment.

4. Your Puppy Has A Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

I separated this from #3 because it’s a common cause of random accidents in the house.

When puppies get UTI’s they often have difficulty holding their pee. The result: Accident in the house.

If you suspect a UTI is the cause of your pup’s accidents then visit your vet for a proper diagnosis and treatment.

5. Your Puppy Gets Excited

Poor little Kona, our friends Dachshund German Shepherd mix. She used to get what we called excita-pee!

Every time I came over she’d get so excited she’d have an accident in the house.

The solution to this one is to ignore the puppy when you get home so she doesn’t get excited. Once she calms down give her some calm praise and a reward.

6. Your Puppy Is Incontinent

Incontinence – lack of voluntary control over urination or defecation.

We’re not going to go into detail about doggy incontinence. If you suspect incontinence is the cause of your pup’s accidents then visit your vet for a proper diagnosis and treatment.

7. Your Puppy Can’t Hold It That Long

When Linus was 9 months old we took him camping. He refused to pee on the dirt and held it for over a 24 hour period. Finally he let it all out like Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own.

Unlike Linus, Stetson could not hold his pee much more than 4-6 hours. If he ever got left home alone for an extended period of time he’d often times have an accident.

Every puppy and dog is different. Some can hold it for what seems like forever while others can only last a few hours even as adults.

8. Your Puppy Has To Go Potty, But You Didn’t Get Him Outside In Time

Let’s get back to our story about Elsa.

After thinking long and hard about our 6 month, 8 month, and 9 month potty training accidents I came to the conclusion that Elsa was potty trained she just didn’t communicate to us the same way our other dogs did.

Linus, Stetson, and Raven would all sit down by our patio door and wait until we let them outside. This is how they communicated to us they needed to go outside and potty.

When we let them outside they would immediately do their business then wait by the door to be let back inside.

Elsa rarely waited by the door to be let outside. While she would wait from time to time we would normally just let her outside when Raven waited by the door. Then let them back in when Raven waited to be let back in.

Here’s what happened: Elsa didn’t always go potty when we let her out with Raven and her signal to us that she wanted to go outside was getting very active, pacing back and forth, and putting her head on our lap.

This was/is not a very straight forward cue and because we didn’t understand we just thought she was being a normal hyper zoomie puppy bouncing around until eventually she had her accidents.

Our solution? Two major points:

1. Rather than giving her free reign to go potty. l started leashing her and making sure she went pee or poop when we let her outside. This was our normal protocol with all of our guide and service dog puppies, but we gave Elsa a little more leniency when potty training.
2. We got a Smart Bell and began working on training her to push the button when she needed to go outside. A clear signal to use that she had to go potty.

• Solution #1 – making sure she went potty when we let her outside actually solved the problem as we haven’t had an accident in over 4 months.
• Solution #2 – is a work in progress, but a clear signal from her that she has to potty will help us avoid any future accidents.

Conclusion

We’ve been spoiled. Raven, Linus, and Stetson all were easy to potty train. We’ve also potty trained over a dozen other puppies that went on to work as service dogs with no problem.

Elsa was an anomaly. Taking a step back and really thinking hard about why she was having accidents in the house gave us a clear solution to the problem.

Our final solution was simply to leash and make sure she went potty outside every time we would take her out for a potty break.

How about you? Are you having puppy potty training problems?

Is your puppy potty trained, but suddenly having accidents in the house?

What are you doing to solve the problem?

Tell us about your experiences in the comment section below.

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You have a sweet, new playful puppy. You pictured your older dog welcoming the puppy and romping around with him, tugging at toys. 

And you picture the two sweetly snuggling together on the floor.

But, instead, reality hits. Your older dog wants nothing to do with the newcomer. In fact, he’s pretty rough with the little guy.

What should you do?

How you introduce them and have them live together is important. Be patient and go slowly.

Some adult dogs are better with puppies than others.

Things To Consider Prior To Getting a Puppy

I love puppies. But not all adult dogs want a puppy to live with them–even if they’re friendly to puppies away from home. Consider the following prior to getting your new puppy:

1. Does your older dog like puppies in general?

If your older dog has been properly socialized to puppies in the past and enjoys encounters with them, the chances are greater that you’ll be successful in him accepting one at home if the situation is properly managed.

If your older dog doesn’t like puppies, it’s much harder to get him to accept them living in your home.

2. Does your older dog have any behavioral issues?

If so, it’s better to resolve them first prior to getting a puppy.

Any issues will be magnified when you have a puppy, Plus it’s not fair to either dog to ignore any issues.

If in doubt, get advice from a canine behavioral expert.

3. Does your older dog have any health issues?

If an older dog has health issues that affect his sight, hearing, or mobility, it’s probably not the best thing to get a young puppy. It may be too much for him.

Also, if he has any issues that can affect his pain level, such as arthritis, he probably won’t enjoy playing with a young puppy.

My rescued shih tzu Trevor loves all dogs. But he’s about 16 years old now and is losing his vision. 

I wouldn’t put him together with my Aussie mix puppy Millie off leash and expect them to play together. It wouldn’t be fair to either dog.

But I do have them meet on leash, in harnesses, after Millie has had a sufficient amount of exercise to be calm.

4. Consider whether the puppy you choose is appropriate for your older dog

For example, a Saint Bernard puppy may be too much for an older Maltese.

When choosing a puppy, choose one that won’t overwhelm your older dog and that has similar energy levels.

Doing so increases the likelihood that they’ll successfully live together.

It’s not impossible for the odd couple to get along. It usually just makes it more difficult.

But I’ve had my Lhasa apso Ralphie who’s an adult accept my Aussie mix puppy Millie. It just required more management and work.

5. Has your older dog been properly vaccinated?

Check with your vet that your dog has all necessary vaccinations prior to getting a puppy.

What’s Normal Behavior Between the Puppy and Older Dog?

It’s normal for an older dog to appropriately correct a puppy. The problems arise if the older dog becomes truly aggressive to the pup.

It’s very stressful for the older dog when a newcomer joins the home.

Is your older dog being aggressive to the puppy? If your older dog snaps at or growls at the new puppy when the pup becomes rambunctious, that’s normal. 

The older dog is telling the youngster to respect him and back off, much as the puppy’s mother would do.

The puppy should then back off from the correction. He should respect the older dog.

The puppy may even let out a squeal. But as long as the interaction is brief and the puppy isn’t injured, it’s probably normal.

If, at any time, there’s any question regarding whether the interaction is normal, separate the dogs and get professional help from an experienced, positive-reinforcement trainer.

What Can You Do To Be Successful?

There are many ways that you can help the relationship between your older dog and puppy be successful. 

You never want to rush introductions or give the older dog an opportunity to guard desired items. 

Also, the two should not be left alone together until you are sure that they are getting along. And that takes time–even many months. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

1. Prepare your house prior to the puppy’s arrival

Pick up all chews, toys, and food bowls. These are all items that your older dog may guard. (Please note that if your adult dog guards such items–or even you–prior to getting a puppy, get help from an expert before deciding to get a puppy.)

Have a toy-free zone in which both can learn to get along. At first, you can have separate play areas with their toys for each so that there’s no conflict between them.

You want to set them up to succeed.

2. Swap scents

If possible, have something with the puppy’s scent placed in the older dog’s crate or bed so that he gets used to the puppy when he arrives.

If possible, have something with your older dog’s scent left with the puppy prior to his arrival too.

3. Introduce them away from home base

It’s usually best to introduce your older dog to the puppy at a neutral location, not at your home. 

Doing so will help prevent any territoriality that your older dog may show.

It’s difficult to introduce a puppy to an older dog in many locations because the puppy shouldn’t be where other unvaccinated dogs may have been.

So you might introduce them at a friend’s house or another neutral location.

When I got my Aussie mix puppy Millie last summer, the rescue group had us meet her at their location. And I brought my five other dogs to meet her.

My other dogs are dog-friendly and tolerate puppies and know how to appropriately correct them. But it was still important for them to meet there.

4. Make introductions slowly

Have your older dog get treats when he even sees the puppy and is calm. If at any time he seems aggressive (raised hackles, lunging, snarling), end any potential interaction and get professional help.

In your introductions, you need two handlers–one for the puppy and another for the older dog. Have one person hold the puppy on leash and the other person hold the older dog’s leash.

Have them on six-foot leashes–no longlines or flexis. Also, it’s best to have them on harnesses they can’t slip out of. 

A tight collar on the older dog may send him the signal that something’s wrong.

Have them at opposite sides of the room.

After they get used to being in the same room together, move them a few feet closer, making sure that the older dog is comfortable.

It may take an hour or more, depending on the dog, to have them meet briefly face-to-face. 

Walk up to each other over time if the adult dog seems relaxed, have them meet for a few seconds if all goes well, then walk apart (telling them “let’s go” as you walk away).

5. Walk the dogs together to get acquainted

If the puppy can walk on a leash, you can walk him parallel to the older dog, with separate handlers walking each canine.

This is a good way to introduce two dogs. Keep them at least 10 feet apart. You can move closer over time, depending how the older dog reacts to the puppy.

6. Slowly integrate them together in your house

Don’t force them to interact, play together, or pose for photos.

7. Feed them separately

So that there’s no conflict over food, it’s best to feed them in different areas.

8. Manage all interactions

Use gates between rooms to have them meet. One can be on one side of the gate and the other on the opposing side.

Get your puppy used to a crate, so that he can be crated sometimes when in the room with the adult dog.

Watch your older dog’s body language so that he doesn’t go over threshold and become too rough or aggressive to the puppy. 

In the beginning, and for days or weeks (depending on the dog’s reaction), I would have them meet in harnesses on loose leashes. 

Have two handlers–one for the puppy and one for the adult dog.

Take your time and be patient.

If the first encounters go extremely well, you can eventually (over days) have two leashes dragging so that each person can take a leash and tell the dogs “let’s go” and walk in opposite directions before things escalate.

Make sure that the leashes don’t tangle or wrap up the dogs. After all, you don’t want any problems or want them to be too rough with each other.

If the older dog demonstrates any stress such as raised hackles or tense body language, end the interaction immediately.

Have one handler lure the puppy away with a toy and the other handler call the older dog over.

Take each dog to separate areas, such as separate rooms to settle down.

9. Don’t let the puppy harass the adult dog

Even adult dogs who enjoy the company of puppies don’t want them constantly bothering them. 

Redirect the puppy away from the adult dog. Use a toy to get the puppy to play away from the older dog.

10. Have the puppy exercised before interacting with the adult dog

Set all interactions up for success. If the puppy isn’t too frenetic, the older dog is more likely to accept him.

Have the puppy exercised through a walk or play session away from the older dog so that the puppy won’t be too energetic for the older dog.

11. Teach the puppy some commands

In order for the puppy to understand what’s expected, obedience training is important. 

As a foundation, the pup should learn to sit, lie down, walk on a loose leash, pay attention to you, and settle on command.

The more the puppy knows, it’s more likely that the two dogs will get along.

It’s important to teach the puppy some impulse control.

12. Have both dogs sit and reward and praise

As long as your older dog won’t guard resources, give each a treat and praise them. Give the treat to the older dog first.

13. Give the older dog attention first

It’s less likely that there will be conflict between the two if the older dog is acknowledged first.

14. Create positive associations with the puppy

Have two handlers. Have someone hold the puppy on a leash walking the puppy near the older dog. 

They should be at least 15 feet apart so that they can see each other but not reach each other. 

Pet and give positive reinforcement (treats, praise) when your older dog is calm.

Move the puppy closer as the older dog can handle it without becoming stressed. Keep giving high-value treats to the older dog so that he’s associated great things with the puppy.

As the handler with the puppy walks the puppy away from the older dog, stop giving treats to the older dog.

You want the older dog to think that great things–treats like small tidbits of chicken or hotdogs–appear when the puppy’s present or approaches.

Have bonding activities. Walk the older dog at the same time (a short walk) with the puppy. One handler should walk the puppy while another walks the older dog. Only walk where unvaccinated dogs haven’t been. 

Once the puppy has had all his vaccinations (around 16 weeks old), he can walk in regular areas.

15. Redirect your older dog to known commands

Call him over to you and praise and reward him. Have him target–touch–your hand. Have him look at you on cue.

This will help get control and not have him be hyper-focused on the puppy–in addition to having him know what’s expected. 

PRO TIP: It’s usually best to have them walk in well-fitted harnesses rather than a collar. A tight collar can send a message to the older dog that something’s wrong. And a collar may put too much pressure on a young puppy’s trachea.

16. Maintain a routine

Dogs are creatures of habit. So try to keep your adult dog’s routines that you had prior to the puppy’s arrival. A routine also helps the puppy know what’s expected.

17. Give your older dog separate attention

It’s important that your older dog knows that he’s still loved and valued by you. 

Still play with him and walk him separately. Do other activities with him that you used to do prior to the puppy’s arrival.

18. Introduce valuable items like toys slowly

At first, they should have separate play areas with separate toys.

As you see that they’re getting along, introduce toys that your older dog doesn’t really care about and that are safe for the puppy. Or bring in new toys as long as the older dog doesn’t guard them.

Have one handler play with the puppy and another with the adult dog.

What NOT To Do

There are some things that you shouldn’t do in trying to integrate the puppy into your household.. You don’t want to harm their interactions or unintentionally set them up to fail.

Don’t force them together

It’s important to not force the puppy and the older dog to be face-to-face or otherwise in each other’s space. 

Patience and time are important for the older dog to accept the puppy.

Don’t suppress the older dog’s growl

Some things that the older dog does to correct the puppy are normal. A growl, an air snap to tell the puppy that he’s crossed boundaries are normal.

If, however, your older dog truly seems aggressive to the puppy, get professional help. 

Don’t let them be together until any issues have been resolved.

How Long Does It Take For a Puppy and Older Dog To Get Along?

There’s no set formula regarding how long it will take for your dog to get along with a puppy.

It depends on the two canines.

Some adult dogs accept a puppy pretty quickly. They may have successfully been exposed to them in the past. 

Whereas even some older dogs who like puppies may take a longer time when the puppy will live with them in their house.

Some adult dogs will never accept a puppy no matter how well you introduce them and manage the situation. 

After getting professional help to evaluate the situation, sometimes it’s better for both dogs to rehome the puppy.

Some senior dogs may have vision problems, arthritis, or other problems and a puppy may be too much for them.

Conclusion

An older dog can often live well with a new puppy.

They may even become best friends.

But it will take a lot of time, patience, and management to set them up to succeed.

How about you? Have you brought home a puppy to your older dog? How’d it go?

Tell us about your experiences in the comment section below.

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As you’re getting ready to go to work, your dog starts to look anxious. He drools and paces.

When you go out the door, you hear frenzied digging at the door frame and barking.

You wonder to yourself: why does my golden panic when I leave?

Your dog may have what’s called separation anxiety. Some dogs panic when they’re left home alone.

These dogs don’t have fun antics like the child in the movie Home Alone.

Instead, they literally have an anxiety attack. Some have milder symptoms whereas others display much more severe ones.

The poor canine literally is afraid that we will never return home again.

In order to treat separation anxiety in your dog, professional help from a behaviorist may be necessary. 

Some dogs are probably showing signs of separation anxiety related to the pandemic. 

They’ve gotten used to being with us all the time. Then, as we suddenly go back to work, some dogs may develop separation anxiety.

Unfortunately, many dogs are given up because they have separation anxiety. 

What Causes Separation Anxiety?

There are various theories regarding why a dog develops separation .anxiety. 

Something traumatic may have occurred when the dog was alone

Workman may have been doing construction nearby and the dog has or develops a noise phobia associated with being alone.

A burglary may have taken place in your absence.

Or a thunderstorm may have occurred. And the dog associates being left alone with the scary noise and changes in barometric pressure–and the lightning.

One of my rescued goldens, Spencer, was fine being left alone. That is, until a violent thunderstorm occurred when I was away working.

The storm was so bad that we lost power for days.

Even worse, I came home after about five hours to Spencer stressed and drooling. 

He also had broken a tooth while trying to get out of his crate. (He loved his crate before this.)

Some dogs may be genetically predisposed to developing separation anxiety

An event may trigger the dog who’s predisposed to develop it to exhibit its symptoms.

A dog may have had too many transfers to various owners or may have been abandoned

Some dogs may have been relocated and been stressed by that.

This sometimes occurs when an owner gives up a dog to a rescue or shelter. Then, the dog is placed in another home.

The dog may feel insecure and anxious about where he’ll live. He may have developed bonds with the people in the home. And he may be used to a certain routine.

Then, in his view, his world is suddenly turned upside down.

This happened to a dog I adopted. Mikey was a Lhasa apso who was abandoned on the street.

I volunteered at the shelter that took him in. In the beginning, before I could work with the issue, Mikey would whine and bark–and even dig at the door–when I left.

Luckily, his symptoms of separation anxiety disappeared after I did a lot of working with Mikey on the issue.

The dog may have been taken from his littermates too young

Many behavior problems may occur when a puppy’s been removed from his littermates when he’s too young.

A dog may be with his owner constantly

When a dog accompanies his owner all the time everywhere, he’s likely to develop separation anxiety when he’s suddenly left alone.

Such “Velcro dogs” may feel abandoned when they’re abruptly left by themselves.

These dogs have over-bonded to their person.

There have been changes within the household

Many changes, such as the following, can result in a dog having separation anxiety:

new schedules of family members; changes in the dog’s routine; additions or the removal of a new pet or family member; a move to a new house; or the death of a family member or pet.

Dogs are creatures of habit. Many adapt well to changes, but others may find any variations from their routine to be very distressing.

Our canine friends also form bonds with family members and other animals within the household. Any change may set off some dogs to develop separation anxiety.

What Are the Signs of Separation Anxiety?

There are numerous behavior changes that a dog may exhibit when he has an episode of separation anxiety. Some may be mistaken for other behavioral or medical problems.

Because many of these behaviors may not be seen by you when you leave, some people set up a camera to record what happens when they’re gone.

But many dogs also show signs of distress even when you’re preparing to depart.

Some dogs may become destructive

After you’ve left the house, dogs with severe separation anxiety may destroy some household items. 

Usually the items destroyed may be where people enter or exit. Or where a dog may escape.

Dogs with separation anxiety may dig or chew around door or window frames in a frantic attempt to escape and reach the departed owner.

A lab mix I trained was a rescue who had been transferred to various homes before the owners who hired me got him.

He was a very sweet dog. But when his owners left, he went into full-blown panic mode.

He even crashed through a window onto a deck to try to reach his owners one time when they left him alone.

Luckily, he wasn’t physically harmed. But he was obviously in a lot of distress.

This sweet dog had a severe case of separation anxiety.

It took months of working with the family and dog until he could safely be left alone. But it was worth it.

The dog may salivate and drool

These are stress signals. 

The dog might pace back and forth in a frenzied state

These demonstrate that he’s distressed.

He may bark, howl, or whine incessantly

For dogs with separation anxiety, this isn’t just a few yips or whines. 

Instead, the distressed dog may vocalize for hours–even the entire time you’re gone.

The dog may be a “Velcro dog” who always follows you around and needs to be with you

Not all dogs who want to be with us a lot have separation anxiety. But it can be one of the signs that he has that distress.

The dog has house training accidents when you’re gone

Some dogs may just not be house trained. 

But some may express their anxiety by urinating or defecating in the house when alone.

Trembling or shaking may be a sign of distress

The dog may be overly excited when you return home

Most dogs are happy and may jump around, wag their tail, and even squeal when we get home from work or an errand.

But some are so excited because they’re so relieved that we’ve actually returned and haven’t abandoned them.

The dog may show excessive signs of distress when you do your normal routines before departing.

Dogs with separation anxiety often watch our departure cues. And they usually become anxious.

Most of us have routines before we go out. We may take a shower, brush our teeth, get dressed, put on our coat, and pick up our keys.

Meanwhile our dog may pace, salivate, whine, tense up, or show other signs of distress.

A dog with severe separation anxiety may attempt to escape

He may try to get out of windows or doors to reach you.

Some tell-tale signs are scratch or chew marks at the door or window frames or on the door.

Your dog may eat his own poop while you’re gone

It’s known as coprophagia can be a sign of distress.

How Do I Rule Out Other Issues?

Sometimes what appears to be separation anxiety is another behavioral or medical problem. 

So, in determining whether something that your dog does is really separation anxiety, other problems must be ruled out. These include:

Juvenile destruction

What appears to be separation anxiety may actually be the results of a young dog who’s been given too much freedom too soon.

Young dogs usually have a lot of excess energy to burn. If they’re allowed out-of-sight freedom before they can handle it, they may become destructive

Unsuccessful or no house training

You come home to urine or feces. Does your pup have separation anxiety?

To help rule it out, determine whether he’s been adequately house trained.

Go over your routine. Does your dog have other house training indiscretions while you’re home?

If so, it may just be a house training problem. Then, re-house train your pup.

Or, if you have house-trained your dog, it may be a physical problem like worms or a urinary tract infection that are causing his house training indiscretions.

If so, it’s advisable to have your vet check out any physical reasons for the problem.

Submissive or excitement urination

You’re so happy to get home from work! Your sweet, happy dog’s there to greet you–a spinning, tail-wagging ball of fur.

Then, you look down at your feet and see it: a puddle of urine.

Your dog may have just urinated out of the excitement of the moment or may have submissively urinated when you reached to pet him.

So determine whether he usually does this in front of you in other settings, not just after your longer departures.

Urine marking

You find urine on the floor, on the side of your favorite chair or on the leg of the kitchen table.

You want to determine whether this is a sign of separation anxiety. 

Then, watch whether your dog does this marking when you’re home too. If so, it’s probably urine marking not related to separation anxiety.

Make sure that you’ve cleaned up all the places he’s marked so that he’s not drawn back to those spots. Use an enzymatic cleaner that’s meant for the surface you’re cleaning.

If you’re not sure where he’s urinated, you can use a black light made for the purpose of discovering such indiscretions. Ten, you can clean it up and the dog shouldn’t be drawn back to that spot.

Medications

Some medications may cause a dog to defecate or urinate more than normal. So he may have unavoidable accidents when you’re not home.

Check with your vet whether any of your pup’s medications, including new ones, may be the cause of such problems.

Environmental triggers

A dog may bark, whine, or howl because of something that occurs while left alone, unrelated to separation anxiety.

An alarm may go off; a doorbell may ring; or there may be a noise outside the house that triggers your dog’s vocalizations–even without any separation anxiety.

It may be just a dog barking because that’s what dogs do.

Boredom

Your dog may become destructive or vocalize because he’s bored.

Underexercised

Sometimes a dog may become destructive or vocalize because he hasn’t had a sufficient amount of exercise before he’s been left alone.

How Do I Treat Separation Anxiety?

There’s usually no quick fix for dogs with separation anxiety. There are many things you can do to help your dog who has separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety isn’t cured as much as it’s managed. It can be successfully managed though to the point that no manifestations of anxiety occur.

In order to correctly manage his separation anxiety, you’ll probably need a multi-level approach involving physical exercise, training, behavioral exercises, and environmental control..

But if you’re uncertain whether he definitely has separation anxiety or whether his symptoms are so severe you aren’t equipped to deal with them, get expert help.

A behaviorist or veterinary behaviorist who’s dealt successfully with the issue may be required. 

If you don’t have access to one, a positive reinforcement trainer who specializes in dealing with separation anxiety may be necessary. Even some vets have a lot of success treating such distress.

Some of the following actions may help a dog with separation anxiety:

Make sure that your dog has a sufficient amount of exercise before you depart. 

What’s sufficient of course will depend on your dog’s age, breed(s), and health status. Generally, young dogs require more exercise than older ones.

And dogs from the working, hunting, herding, and terrier breeds usually have high drive and require a lot of exercise.

A walk, fetching, or playing with a comparable dog may help meet his needs.

Young goldens and labs should have energy to burn. They really need a lot of exercise in order to not engage in destructive, unwanted behaviors.

Although physical exercise isn’t in and of itself a cure for separation anxiety, it can help relieve any stressed dog’s anxiety.

Then, if your dog’s received enough exercise prior to your departure, any destructive or unwanted behaviors may be the result of separation anxiety. 

Make sure that your dog has enough obedience training

Dogs who have obedience training can still suffer from separation anxiety.

But obedience training can help a dog’s self-confidence and his understanding of his world.

It can also reduce a dog’s anxiety because he knows the rules of his world.

Give your dog mentally-stimulating things to do while you’re gone

This is important for all dogs, but can help a separation anxiety dog relieve some stress.

Dogs with severe separation anxiety may not engage in them, but those with milder cases may.

Also, giving a dog some activity toys will help relieve boredom. So you can then rule out problem behaviors like destructive ones or excessive vocalizations.

I recommend Extreme Kongs frozen overnight stuffed with pate dog food. 

Treat-dispensing toys and puzzle toys can also help.

Keep departures and greetings uneventful

Some experts theorize that making a big fuss when you leave your dog or when you return can cause or exacerbate separation anxiety.

So it’s probably best not to say something like the following to your pup: “Mommy’s going out. My liittle baby pup will be fine. Mommy has to go out…” as you pet and kiss your dog while leaving.

The same is true when you get home.

I like my dogs to know that I’m departing but don’t make a big fuss. Then, they don’t search the house to see where I am.

I consistently say “I’ll be back” on my departure. My dogs have learned the routine.

When I return, I just give them a quick pet and take them out to potty, matter of factly.

Leave an item like a towel with your scent on it

Some dogs may be comforted by items with your scent on something. You may put it on his bed.

This may help in only milder cases of separation anxiety.

Take your dog to the vet to rule out any physical problem

If you’ve ruled out other reasons and still aren’t certain why your dog is behaving with certain signs of separation anxiety, a vet visit is in order.

Use certain calming products that can reduce anxiety

Some mimic the pheromones of the dog’s mother. Others have various essences that lower stress.

As with any such product, first check with your vet before using it.

Some have natural herbal components that have calming properties.

For reducing anxiety, I’ve had success with Rescue Remedy and Adaptil (which comes in a diffuser and collar).

Teach your dog that calm behavior is rewarded

You can praise him when he’s calm around you. I use a “settle” cue.

I actually teach my dogs how to relax on the cue. When I say “settle,” they’ve learned to chill out.

Then, when I say “good settle,” they understand what I mean.

Desensitize your dog to your departures

This is usually best done under the direction of a qualified dog trainer or behaviorist.

This is done slowly, at the dog’s pace. If you do the behavioral work too quickly, it can even worsen the problem.

Departure cues. In one of the behavioral exercises, you may start by using your departure cues–then not leave. You may do them in the order you really do (shower, dress, put on coat, pick up keys)–and not leave.

Eventually, you may do them in various orders–and not leave. You may even do just a few of them–and not leave.

You get the idea.

Usually dogs with separation anxiety become very stressed when they see these departure cues. So, if done correctly and not too often, a dog may become desensitized to them.

And the cues won’t be such a big deal. So your pup won’t be in full-blown anxiety by the time you go out.

Departure times. Once your dog is used to your departure cues, you also need to deal with his reaction to your leaving.

In counter-conditioning your dog’s response to your leaving, good things should happen when you leave. Give him the stuffed Extreme Kong, safe chew, or treat dispensing toy.

I say it should be your dog’s party when you leave. If all these great things happen when you leave, the rationale is that he should eventually see your departure as a great thing–or at least tolerable.

Then, eventually, as he’s able to handle it without visibly stressing, you will go out of sight and reappear. You can do this at first in your house.

Add longer departures as he’s able to handle them.

Eventually, you’ll go outside and back inside. Then, add longer times to your departure before returning.

At first, you may add only seconds to being out-of-sight or outside. 

The goal is to eventually be able to leave for a normal business day.

Caveat: This process is usually very slow–depending how severe your dog’s separation anxiety is.

These protocols are often administered by an expert who’s successfully dealt with dogs with separation anxiety. Working with separation anxiety is very challenging.

Take your dog to a vet if such intervention is required

Some dogs require veterinary drugs to help lessen their separation anxiety.

Reconcile and Clomicalm have been approved for such treatment.

These are prescription items. Talk with your vet whether they’re appropriate for your dog.

Of course, you’ll also need to also engage in an appropriate desensitization and counter-conditioning program too.

PRO TIP: If you’re home more than usual (as has occurred during the pandemic), try to maintain a normal schedule. If your dog hasn’t developed separation anxiety yet, try to leave him for a short time every day.

If you don’t want to or can’t go out, pretend to leave and go to another area of your house without your dog.

Every day, I pretend to leave my new puppy Millie. I got het in July during the pandemic. 

She’s crated for about four five hours in the family room and I go to another area in the house.

This way, she’s less likely to develop separation anxiety when I go back to my normal work routine outside of the house.

Additional Advice While Working With Your Dog’s Separation Anxiety

Some dogs may need additional help while you work on the issue. While you engage in your behavior modification, some experts advise not leaving your dog alone so that they gradually accept your departures.

Obviously for many people this isn’t practical. But we always try to set up our dogs to succeed. 

If possible, though, while you’re working with your behavior modification program, you can do the following:

Take your dog with you

If you can take your dog to work or on errands, it may help his behavioral program.

Arrange for someone to stay with your dog when you go out

A family member, friend or pet sitter may help your dog.

Many dogs with separation anxiety are fine as long as someone they trust stays with them.

I did this while I worked with my golden Spencer’s separation anxiety. It took weeks for him to really progress. During this time, friends helped out by staying with him while I was gone and worked through his issues.

At the end of about three weeks, he could successfully be left alone again. 

TRAINER’S NOTE: Most dogs with separation anxiety are fine if not left alone. However, some are attached to a specific person and exhibit symptoms if that one person is gone.

Take your dog to a dog sitter’s house or a doggy daycare

This can help many dogs who qualify and whose separation anxiety isn’t to one specific person.

What Shouldn’t I Do?

Any harsh treatment won’t solve the problem. Instead, it may make it much worse.

Don’t confine a dog to a small area like a crate unless that’s his safe space

Dogs who aren’t used to a crate and are just shoved into it may panic. Add to that separation anxiety, and the dog may injure himself trying to escape from it.

However, some dogs actually feel safer in their crate even when left alone.

Don’t scold or punish the dog when you return

Even if you see he’s had an accident or scratched up the door frame, being harsh will just exacerbate the problem. 

It will justify in his mind that bad things happen because you’re gone. Then, the next time you leave, he may feel even more anxious.

Don’t make departures and returns too emotional

You don’t want to add any stress.

Conclusion

Separation anxiety is a very complex behavioral problem. 

Even if your canine buddy exhibits some of the symptoms of dogs who have separation anxiety, you still must rule out other behavioral, medical, and environmental reasons to determine whether he has such departure stress.

There are various ways to successfully manage dogs with separation anxiety. It’s often advisable to get assistance from an expert because of the complexity of the problem.

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We all know the dog that loves to play but won’t give up his toys. He tugs as if his life depends on it.

How a dog reacts depends on his genes and past experiences. 

Of course goldens were bred as hunting dogs to retrieve.

As a dog trainer, I’ve worked with many goldens and labs. And even though they may love to retrieve and tug a toy, many don’t want to give them up.

Why Won’t My Golden Retriever Release His Toys?

My golden Riley loves to fetch a toy and tug. He would joyfully retrieve his fleece or rope tug toy, shaking his prey as he approached.

But he wanted to tug without releasing his toys.

So I had to teach him to let go or the game would end.

There are many reasons why dogs don’t want to release their toys.

Reasons Why Dogs Won’t Release Their Toys

1. It’s fun!

Tugging and running around with a toy is self-rewarding. It’s a fun game to your pup.

2. The dog doesn’t know the rules of the game

If you don’t teach your pup not to tug, he thinks that’s part of the game.

After all, many dogs find tugging to be a lot of fun. My Aussie mix puppy loves to tug. 

She loves to tug and shake her Kong Wubba as if she caught a rabbit.

I had to teach her to give the toy up. 

We still play tug sometimes, but on cue. She’ll tug and I’ll say “yes! Good tug!” 

But I also taught her to release the toy on my cue “give.”

3. Some dogs hoard and hide their toys

This is different than guarding their toys aggressively. 

These pups want to hold onto their toys so that they can hide them and play with them later.

I rescued a Pekingese named Dina who had this habit. She wasn’t  aggressive at all when I went to take the toy.

But when she had the toys she’d run around and place them under furniture to enjoy at a later time.

4. Some goldens love to always have a toy in their mouth

Even when not actively playing, my golden Spencer almost always enjoyed having a toy to carry around.

He didn’t guard it. For him, it was just fun. I’ve trained many other retrievers with similar instincts.

It wasn’t a big deal: I just taught him to give it up on command.

5. Some dogs guard resources, including toys, food, space, and people.

Resource guarding occurs because of a dog’s survival instinct. There are limited resources and, to be safe and to survive, dogs try to guard the resources they have.

Most dogs learn that they don’t need to guard resources. We teach them that there’s plenty to go around. 

And we teach them to exchange a desired resource for an even better one, like exchanging a toy for a yummy treat.

What Can I Do To Teach My Dog To Release Toys?

For our dogs to succeed, we have to teach them our rules. 

There are certain training exercises that help convey to our pups that the game ends unless they give up the toy.

Have high-value pea-sized treats ready for your training exercises. And, to be successful, make sure that your pup has had enough exercise before working with him.

1. Teach your dog to give the toy to you or drop it to the floor

You want to set this up as a separate training exercise so that when the real game occurs, your dog will know what’s expected.

Hold out a toy that’s long enough for your dog to grab and you to hold too. A long fleece-type toy or rope toy usually works well. It should be long enough that your dog’s teeth aren’t near your hand.

I don’t use a ball for this to start the training because there isn’t enough space for me to hold it while training my dog to release it. 

But I will teach my dog to release any item–including a ball–after he understands what’s expected of him.

Have your reward treat ready. 

Wave the toy in front of your dog’s nose, telling him “take it.” When your dog takes a hold of the other end of the toy, tell him “give.” 

Immediately show him the treat with the other hand.

As soon as the dog releases the toy to your hand, reward with the great treat and praise (“Yes! Good give!”).

Do the training exercise a few times, then, at the end, throw the toy and tell your dog to get it.

You can also teach your dog to drop the toy to the ground instead of releasing it to your hand. 

When you exchange the valued treat for the toy, just tell your dog to “drop it” and don’t take the other end. Just let the toy fall to the ground. Reward with the treat and tell your pup “Yes! Good drop!”

Do this training exercise a few times, then throw the toy and tell your dog to get it.

Always end the training session on a positive note.

When your dog understands the “give” and “drop it” exercises, which may take days or weeks, start giving the treats on a random basis.

At first, give the treat four out of five times; then, less and less frequently

When you actually play fetch, bring the treat exchange back as needed until the dog understands the exchange when playing fetch.

Some dogs are so toy motivated, you can even try exchanging one toy for another (both being toys your dog really values) instead of exchanging his toy for treats.

Letting your dog get the toy to play with at the end of the training or fetch session helps him not want to guard it and helps him be more willing to give it up. After all, he’ll still get it in the end.

PRO TRAINER’S TIPS: 

Let’s generalize. When doing the toy-treat exchange training exercise, teach your dog to give or drop all of his toys. Use different toys he has in your training sessions. 

So one session, for example, you may use a fleece tug, and another his toy rope. You want him to generalize that he has to release ALL of his toys on command.

Keep your sessions short. Do a few exchanges, then take a break and do a few more. You don’t want to do too many exchanges or your dog will lose interest and zone out.

Distractions, distractions. Start your training without distractions. Add distractions once the dog understands the exercise. 

Distractions can be people moving in the room, noises, or even changes in location. 

You’ll want the dog to perform his training cues everywhere. He’ll do this only if you up the ante and make the training occur in real-life places.

Yes! Whenever training your dog, you always want to mark the behavior you like to let him know he did the right thing. 

Happily saying “YES!’ immediately after he performs correctly will show him that he did the right thing.

2. Teach your dog not to grab at toys or other objects in your hands

It’s a really dangerous habit for a dog to jump up and grab a favorite toy out of your hands.

His teeth or nails may accidentally scratch you. Or he may accidentally knock you over.

Instead of grabbing, teach your pup to take something out of your hands only on command.

So, when you’re practicing your “give” and “drop it” training exercises, teach a “take it” command.

Make sure that you use a toy that your dog really loves.

Hold the toy out at your dog’s height; tell him “take it.”  If he doesn’t take it, gently wave the toy in front of his nose while saying “take it.” 

Don’t hold it too high–you don’t want him to have to jump for it.

As soon as he takes hold of the end of the toy, tell him “Yes! Good take it!” 

Then, use the “drop it” or “give” command you’ve already worked with.at least a few days, so that your dog will release the toy immediately on your cue.

Then praise and immediately give him the reward treat.

3. End the game on your own terms

Many dogs–especially retrievers–love fetch. But they may love the game so much that they don’t want it to end.

And they nudge you–and even bark at you–to continue the game. Make sure that your dog’s had enough exercise through the game or walks or otherwise (like playing with other dogs). 

You want to set him up to succeed. If he has too much energy to expend, he’ll be less likely to stop retrieving.

It’s important to teach your dog some impulse control, even where the fetch game is concerned. If he learns to control his behaviors, all his behaviors should improve–including releasing toys.

I end the game with the word “enough.” At first, the dog doesn’t know what this means. After I say my cue, I turn away or even walk a short distance away.

If you’re consistent in not rewarding this behavior, it should go away.

A principle of dog training is that behavior that’s not rewarded will extinguish itself. So not rewarding the attempts to play should end.

At first, though, the dog may try even harder to get you to play–nudging with the toy. It’s called the extinction burst and is normal.

But, if you’re consistent and the dog’s exercise needs are otherwise met, you should be successful. Be patient.

To make life easier when you have a die-hard toy retriever, I set up something else for the dog to do when the game ends. 

This can be a puzzle toy to solve, or a chew to gnaw on, or a stuffed Kong to work on.

My Aussie mix puppy Millie dedicates her life to retrieving toys. Of course, I’d throw her toy so she’d exercise and learn to release toys. 

But she’s like the Energizer Bunny and doesn’t want to stop. So using the above methods, she learned when the game’s over.

4. If your dog plays keep-away, the game ends

Some dogs who know how to fetch still think part of the game is to run off with the toy–just out of your reach.

It’s really frustrating!

If you work on the take-give, take it-drop it training exercises, that should solve this problem. The dog should learn to come right up to you when giving up the toy. This should solve the problem for most dogs.

If the dog still keeps out of range, you can take a step away from him as he’s coming towards you, then stop. This should bring him right up to you.

If your dog loves playing keep-away, the game ends. Walk away as described in #3 above.

5. To keep toys interesting, alternate them

Even toys that your dog loves can become boring if they’re always available.

If your dog has a treasure trove of toys, have two or three groups of no more than about eight toys. Alternate the groups every week. By doing so, the toys won’t become boring to your pup.

6. If your dog shows any aggression by guarding his toys, get professional help

If your dog guards only one item or toy, you should just put that toy away. He shouldn’t have it.

Of course, don’t take it away from him. Put it away when he’s not around it, and in his crate or another room.

Many resource guarders guard many items they see as valuable. When you approach or try to take a toy away, if your dog growls, gives you a hard stare or a whale eye in which the whites of eyes show, or his body stiffens and tenses up, or he snaps at you or the air–take it seriously.

Don’t approach or attempt to take a toy away. Instead, get the help of a behaviorist or positive reinforcement trainer who’s experienced with resource guarders.

What Not To Do

Even with the best intentions, there are things that we shouldn’t do when working with the issue of a dog giving up his toys.

Don’t get confrontational with your dog

I advise NOT forcing the toy out of your dog’s mouth. If you try to pry his jaws open, he may lose trust in you and how you handle him. Some dogs may even become aggressive.

Don’t chase your dog for the toy

If you do so, the dog will think keep away is a lot of fun. But you won’t. 

In chasing a four-legged canine, he’ll usually win.

He certainly won’t learn to give a toy up this way. Instead, by teaching him the “take-it, give” or “take-it, drop it” exercises, coming to you to give up the toy will be more rewarding to him.

Conclusion

Dogs may not release toys for many reasons. They may not know that’s what we expect. 

So we need to train them so they learn the rules of the game. 

Be patient and don’t rush the process. Move at your dog’s learning speed. 

If you find any behavioral issues such as resource guarding or aggression, it’s best to get the help of a professional.

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